Duck Duck Cougar?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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