in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
