Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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