apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
