He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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