dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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