My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
