Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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