How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
50% drunk capacity currently
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
