does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
