lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
