This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
