I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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