I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
