Tell her she can't have a vagina
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
