How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
