I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
