why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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