her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
