Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
