I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
