He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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