but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
