My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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