she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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