I can't breathe out the right side of my face
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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