Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
