You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
