just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
