How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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