Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
