he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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