is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
