I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
