I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
