yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
