Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The struggles of a small town man whore
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i believe in u and ur pee
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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