I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
