Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
