I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
