I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
