I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
