help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
