More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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