so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
