sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
