I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
