I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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