I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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