Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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