Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
