yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
