He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
